posted 03-15-2001 18:07            

We're trying it again at Easter (with a different friend). They both think it's a good idea. Well that's a start. Some of you sound like the happiest of families always traveling, traveling, traveling. Got any special tips? Also, what are some things you can think of? I'm hoping this idea will keep attitudes, rolling eyes, "that look", and nagging to a minimum.

Some of the things I've already thought of are:

Kids go to the grocery store (without moaning) upon arrival to pick out things they want.

Towels will be hung up after the shower (each shower).

Each person will rinse their dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

If we are not having a communal meal, kids will be responsible for getting their own food and cleaning up after.

Suitcases will be emptied and clothes put away upon arrival.

Kids will cooperate with each other. They are to be companions and do things together. (The last time it was more like snippy sister's than friends).

Disagreements will be dealt with by reasonable discussion.

Dirty laundry will be put on the washer daily.

10:00 IS sleeping in.

The Golden Rule rules.

Everybody will try to make the best of each situation (the blanket to cover anything not previously thought about).

posted 03-15-2001 18:35            

We have taken a number of different friends for different kids on vacation. The key is to pick the right friend. Take someone that you are comfortable with - a child who has spent alot of time in your home, knows the whole family and that you and your husband enjoy being around.

posted 03-15-2001 19:16            

We will invite another of her friends to visit us in Ocean City Maryland this summer for part of the week (she lives nearby).

I think the preparation starts at home, long before vacation time begins. My kids have always done chores and were treated like they were needed in the home (they are!) Kids, all people really, feel better about themselves when they contribute. When they feel better, they act better. Don't start on vacation, though! Start now and work up to it. It takes a long time. Teach them how to work by working alongside them. Praise them often.

A recent university study confirms what I am saying. This study asked teenagers to rate their parents in 2 areas: love and discipline. The only parents who got great results were the parents who were rated high in BOTH love AND discipline.

posted 03-15-2001 20:50            

I tend to lighten up on "chores" quite a bit on vacation. I work full time and have other "on the side" work so I enjoy just being a mom for a week, which means I probably am more domestic on vacation than I usually have time for.

I definitely agree with Kathy -- let everybody know that their cooperation is needed to make this a good holiday, which means that sometimes they put "adult" likes ahead of theirs, and sometimes they get to do things we don't especially enjoy. Amazingly enough, everybody usually has a good time doing things you'd never believe you'd enjoy.

What I love about timesharing is the idea that I don't have to trip over their clothes and suitcases --I can just close their bedroom door because we're in a big enough place they HAVE their own bedroom. It's their holiday too, so a week's reprieve of me stressing out over towels on the floor (which I really, really, really hate) is welcome from their side, and I get much more cooperation in appreciation for me lightening up.

And eventually, when they run out of clothes (or clean towels, because they're all on the floor), they WILL do laundry.

Ain't life fun?

posted 03-16-2001 17:09         

(no offense intended), I think you're being unrealistic.
Perhaps you have sweet, wanting to please girls. We have teenage boys, and when friends come, they are TEENAGE BOYS.

Our rules:
1) The unit must have 2 bathrooms. The kids get one. Period.
2) The sleeping area they sleep in is theirs. So is ours.
Period.
3) Each kid (ours included) is required to have their own spending money. Some will have more than others. That's life.
We provide: grocery food in the condo, and an "activities planning" fund (more later), which may include restaurants.
4) Any kid that goes with us to the gorcery store can HELP pick out what will be eaten for the week. Some fruits and vegetables are required. Each kid (friends included) will take a vitamin pill per day.

5) We have an "activities fund" (we have a predetermined amount we will spend for everyone to do some things together.) Everyone gets input in how to spend it, and we try to do things we can all do together. Example: if you absolutely do not want to go horseback riding, and everyone else wants to, you can bypass, but you don't get the money, but you might get to pick the video for nighttime. We "tell" them the amount in the "fund", we do keep some aside for things we want THEM to do with US. (But they can decide not to come -often the "friend" will talk your kids into doing things with you!

6) Suitcases empty? We gave up long ago. The rule is, if the room starts to smell, the next meal does not come until the offending item is found and dealt with. Remember they have their own space. Even if they're in the sleeper sofa, they get an "area" that's all their own, which means, you may not have a sofa all week. That's life. If you can't deal with that, be sure to get 2 bedrooms.

7) Every kid will turn in to the parents one set of clean clothes right when you get there. That way, you have at least one outfit for -- airplane home, church, restaurant whatever.

8) 2 p.m. is sleeping in. They must be in a growth spurt.
Everyone must leave notes as to where they are. Try to get a key for everyone. If that's not possible, adults each have their own key & the kids work out the key situation.

9) At least once a day there is some spiritual input. That includes grace at meals, and a prayer at night. You also may be asked to sit for a full minute for prayer or devotion. That is the cost of having to travel with adults.

10) The best idea we ever had: Minimum of 4 people required.
A sign up sheet for jobs at the start of the week. Each day had 3 jobs: cook dinner, clean up dinner, and supervise clean-up of condo at night,(which includes cleaning up if the cleaner-upper didn't do their job). Each person signs up for jobs they want. For example, you may want to cook and never clean up, or you may want to work hard some days & have others off. Doesn't matter.
If you go to a restaurant, doesn't matter, the list is set for the week.

Bring earplugs so you can sleep.

Chill out an enjoy yourself.

posted 03-17-2001 04:12         

quote:

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Originally posted by JBRES1:
We have a "would you like some cheese with that wine rule" for vacations.
It works like this, I set up a bank for each of my kids for spending money for the trip. If they wine, I warn them and if I have to ask them a second time it costs money fom the bank ( $1.00 per wine).
On our first trip the money went pretty quick, but on the last few trips they have been pretty good about the rule.
I don't put much money in the bank, but to a 6,8 and 11 year old
$30.00 is big bucks. They only went thru $ 4.00 or $ 5.00 each on our last trip.
Only time the fine goes up is when we get into the car at the airport on the way home, then its a $5.00 fine. (gotta pay for the trip some how)
Thanks, Jim Breslin

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posted 03-18-2001 18:18            

Just a note. . .we took the same girl last year and it worked out fine. Everyone was excited before the trip this year (a good sign). Things turned sour about 48 hrs. after arriving with uncooperative attitudes. I was caught off-guard.

After reading the wide range of opinions here and talking to other friends of how they would have dealt with it I feel more prepared. We have one son who's almost 21 and is pretty near perfect But I remember asking people (who seem to have a good handle on functional families) for alot a help. Putting 7 years between the two means I get to do the teen scene again

I feel more prepared for the next trip. Life is full of lessons. The new kid that's going has chores like my daughter and has always been respectful. The other one just didn't seem to want to be there.

posted 03-19-2001 11:28            

No longer a foster parent.

posted 03-21-2001 09:44            

quote:

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Originally posted by Quilter:
By the way, what entertaining things do you all suggest for the car?

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Well, teens probably won't be too enthralled with highway bingo anymore, right? My 4 kids span 12 years so it is always a challenge to find entertainment they will all enjoy. Here's our favorites:

1. Mindtrap audio game - this is a version of the Mindtrap game on tape. Basically, it consists of a series of short mysteries and brainteasers that last 1-5 minutes each. After listening, you would turn off the tape and debate the solution amongst yourselves. It comes with an answer book. We enjoyed it immensely but you can only do it once since after that, you'd know all the answers!

2. Comedy books on tape. Depends on your sense of humor but everyone in my family enjoys reading the Onion newspaper. They have a number of books out. Try The Onion Presents Our Dumb Century : 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source. We tried other books on tape but it was impossible to find something everyone liked.

3. Show tunes! Again, no one likes the same music but we all know the words to every song in "Rent", "Les Miserables", "Joseph", "Miss Saigon", etc.

Other ideas: separate walkmans, pillows, "Yes and No" magic pen books for those who can read in the car without barfing.

posted 03-26-2001 05:11            

quote:

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Originally posted by Quilter:
By the way, what entertaining things do you all suggest for the car?

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We bought "Old-time Radio's Greatest Hits" at Costco for Comedy and Detective stories. It has been great!
Kathy

posted 03-27-2001 12:12            

quote:

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Travelling with teenagers. How do you make it a positive experience?

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My answer: Leave them at home.

Seriously, I'm glad to have caught this thread - we're preparing to take our first "guest" with us this summer and hadn't even thought of some of these issues. Thanks!