posted 11-08-2004 11:31               

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Patri
I'm ready to go, but it isn't time.

posted 11-08-2004 14:27               

That may sound harsh but I am very tired of trying to tell my boys to be careful what they say, where their eyes are looking, and all the other stuff that you need to tell boys. Then the girls are wearing clothes that show their underwear while drinking so the messages are quite clear until the boys act on those messages.

posted 11-08-2004 21:17               

[This message has been edited by Zib (edited 11-08-2004).]

posted 11-09-2004 12:05               

quote:

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Originally posted by Zib:
I'd be very careful buying alcohol for anyone else, especially underage. (21 here in Calif) We had a very sad sutuation here in our town in Calif on Labor Day. Dad buys alcohol for underage daughter to take to the lake on a party. She gets drunk and gets in her hosts car (not her dad's) along with her best friend and takes off. Hits another car. Killed her best friend and, in the other car, killed the mother of two little children and the dad lost both legs. Now they are prosecuting her for murder but in the news just tonight it said they were also prosecuting the father who bought the alcohol. So you'll be partly responsible if anything happens to anyone. I don't understand why kids (or anyone) have to drink to have a good time!!! Sorry for the gloom and doom but these kids are friends of my grandkids so it hits close to home.

[This message has been edited by Zib (edited 11-08-2004).]

[This message has been edited by Zib (edited 11-08-2004).]

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A very sad story and I'm afraid to say that the father in this case has a terrible weight of responsibility on his shoulders for what happened. Purchasing alcohol for consumption by a person under the age of 18 in a public place is a criminal offence in the UK too.
The original question can be split into 2 parts. Firstly, the consumption of alcohol in bars or restaurants and secondly, consumption of alcohol at home. The first is simply illegal, but I don't know enough about Florida law to answer the second.
I do think some of the responses are harsh. Effectively equating any form of alcohol consumption with the girls being little more than tarts is uncalled for.

You might like to try asking the question on www.tstips.com as that board is populated by a generally more liberal bunch Even those who disagree with you do so very politely.

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Regards

Keith

posted 11-09-2004 15:02               

quote:

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Originally posted by niumom:
If I may ask, at what resort are they staying? Because we are traveling Jan 2-9th with a 19 and 14 year old boys that I would rather not have exposed to girls that are drinking. I realize that my 19year old and soon enough the 14 will be exposed when I am not around, but I hope I do not have to deal with it on vacation.

That may sound harsh but I am very tired of trying to tell my boys to be careful what they say, where their eyes are looking, and all the other stuff that you need to tell boys. Then the girls are wearing clothes that show their underwear while drinking so the messages are quite clear until the boys act on those messages.

If you are raising your girls this way in my opinion you are asking for trouble. Again JMHO!

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I have three sons and none of this ever crossed my mind. Why does drinking equate to wearing inappropriate clothes? I see plenty of that in perfectly sober girls, but that's another thread.

I prefer that my children not drink because I have witnessed the pain that alcoholism can cause. I no longer drink myself, but that is a personal decision. I can't impose it on others who are not my off-spring. The time will come when the kids will make their own decisions.

If the OP was bringing a large group along that would be doing a lot of drinking, I would be concerned. Otherwise, her group will probably be quieter and better behaved than my own little rugrats.

posted 11-10-2004 03:43               

Punishment generally is confiscation of the alcohol and a wanring. It can run to fines, jail time or having Soc. Services/Family Welfare involved. With the youngest being 19, I would have a really tough time believing Family Welfare would get involved since in the US you're considered a legal adult at 18 (you just can't drink a beer or have a glass of wine. Go figure)

As far as the night clubs, most won't let underage (less than 21) in. I can't speak for FL but back in KS, there are a few clubs that have a under 21 side to them. There may be the same in FL but I've never checked into it.

I don't believe smoking will be a problem. I think pretty much every state allows smoking and the purchase of tobacco products at 18, which is the legal age of majority (adulthood) in every state I know.

As you've noticed underage drinking is frowned upon pretty heavily US. Privately, it goes on a quite a bit.

posted 11-10-2004 06:26               

I was standing in my sons dorm at the elevator last week and a girl walks up beside me in a TOWEL and NOTHING ELSE! She is 5 feet from my sons front door, but he is not supposed to react or he is the one in trouble.

I am truly concerned for you and your kids because as previous posts have said even the most understated incident can change their lives forever and yours.

posted 11-10-2004 07:31               

quote:

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Originally posted by niumom:

I was standing in my sons dorm at the elevator last week and a girl walks up beside me in a TOWEL and NOTHING ELSE!

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Now, I DO have a real problem with that. My gut reaction is that I would be talking to somebody of authority at the university about allowing that kind of behavior. That is just not a safe thing for a young lady to do. I might even be "forced" to say something myself to the girl (which would no doubt be frowned upon by my own child).

Geez ....

posted 11-10-2004 07:44               

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Regards

posted 11-10-2004 08:01            

I never liked the idea of co-ed dorms to begin with as it has to be a distraction from school responsibilities and studying. College is for education not for male/female communal living arrangements.

Do they not have any exclusively male dorms at your son's college?

quote:

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Originally posted by niumom:
I was standing in my sons dorm at the elevator last week and a girl walks up beside me in a TOWEL and NOTHING ELSE! She is 5 feet from my sons front door, but he is not supposed to react or he is the one in trouble.

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posted 11-10-2004 12:21               

When my two daughter went to College UCSB and UCSC, my job was done. First year was coed dorms. Then they rented a house with 7 other girls, had parties and ski trips, etc.

They pass with flying colors!! They develop strong friendships, graduated with Honors and now completed Graduate School and still looking for Mr. Right

I am very proud of them!!
When I went to College 35 years ago. Girls went to College to rope in a husband. And sure enough, I met my spouse and married her.

Times have change (for the better)!!

posted 11-10-2004 15:55               

From the time I was 18 I was allowed to have wine at special family dinners and a Bloody Mary on Christmas morning, which is a family tradition. My parents felt that they were teaching me to drink responsibly.

Now that I have my own children(14 and 7) I can't say what decisions we will make when the time comes. Just like everything else that we teach our kids, I think they learn about drinking from their parents. I think that even the best raised children are going to experiment to some extent.

I will say that I think it is a good sign that your grown children have an interest in hanging out with you on a vacation. That says alot of the relationship that you have with them.