posted 11-16-2001 11:35            

QUOTE OF THE DAY

'Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.'

- Anonymous

posted 11-16-2001 12:17            

We had stopped at McDonald's for breakfast and ordered Egg McMuffins. Because I don't like the egg yolks I asked the gal on the register for a fork and knife to cut around them.

She gave me a dirty look and handed me only a knife. I asked again for a fork and suddenly she laughed. She thought I'd sworn at her asking for a forkin knife!

posted 11-16-2001 12:51            

I am really bad at remembering jokes so here is my story. It happened many years ago when my brother was a baby. The family was on vacation in a very nice restaurant. My brother was seated in a high chair and he kept struggling to get up out of it. My mother kept pushing him back into the chair. Finally he stood up and yelled at the top of his voice " Will someone get me out of this chair, I have to go to the bathroom". The entire restaurant became quiet and then started laughing. My mother could nto get him out of the room fast enough.

Shar

posted 11-16-2001 16:12            

quote:

---

Originally posted by shar:
Beebe,

I think I should win ...as ...my husband and I introduced you to Tug. ...Memorial week 2000(?). ...Maybe there is more than one Robert Beebe in TUG?)...

---

Good recall Sharon.
We certainly have enjoyed TUG. We're now trying to give a little back. I'm hoping some non-members will join-in by seeing all the fun.
Have wanted to say "thank you" for over a year.

Good to hear from you. Where have you guys been?

posted 11-17-2001 18:04            

quote:

---

Originally posted by turkco:
For our next timeshare trip (to the Cliff Club in Utah), where we will see our daughters and granddaughters, we've been putting together a "woman power" CD. Here's what we have so far: Respect—Aretha Franklin; I am Woman—Helen Reddy; Who I Am—Jessica Andrews; I’m Alright—Jo Dee Messina; I’m Every Woman—Chaka Khan; Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better--Annie Get Your Gun. More suggestions?

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New Attitude - Pati Labell Would be on my list.

posted 11-18-2001 17:05            

Police officer pulls over a speeding car. The Officer says, " I clocked you at 80 mph. sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly, " Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, " You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, " Dammit woman, can't you keep your mouth shut."
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says," Now dear you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT TO HECK UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Oh heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."

posted 11-18-2001 17:50            

YOU FORGET ONE LITTLE THING. . .
Big Ole's cousin Sever has been visiting from the Old Country. He has been here for a couple of weeks and quite frankly the two have been cutting a pretty wide swath. They have been familiar customers at the Sons of Norway clubrooms and at all the local social gathering spots. The other night the two spent a considerable smount of time at their favorite watering hole. As closing time approached, the bartender insisted that they leave. Sever stood up from his bar stool and promptly fell flat on his face.
Very concerned about his cousin, Ole bent to help him up but, not being in the best of condition himself, he soon toppled over and joined Sever on the floor. With help from each other they were finally able to make it back to their feet. Ole got his shoulder under Sever's and they staggered toward the door, making it without collapsing again. But their luck ran out again as they maneuvered their way through the door and they wound up in a heap out on the sidewalk. With great effort and assistance from each other, the two addled Norskes managed to regain their footing and stumbled out to a streetlight. There the laws of gravity again took effect and the two huddled under the light to get their bearings and balance.
After a suitable amount of time had elapsed the two decided they had sobered up enough to make it home but they no more than stepped away from the lamppost than they took another dive for the pavement.
"Dis yust ain't vorking," Ole said to Sever. "Ay tell yew vhat, ve are only a couple of blocks from home, maybe ve could crawl dat far."
Sever pondered that for a bit and finally agreed. So the two Norsemen crawled the two blocks home and up the steps to the front door. There they again attempted to stand, struggling to support each other as they opened the door. They no sooner got into the house than they took another painful tumble.
"Shhhh . . ve don't vant to vake Lena", Ole whispered. "She vill be ever so mad if she finds out ve haf been out drinking again. Yew crawl over tew your room and Ay vill crawl up the steps and go to bed."
The sun was high in the sky as Ole struggled to get his eyelids open to see what was shaking him. He finally managed to focus on a stern-faced Lena staring down at him. "Yew and Sever vere out drinking again veren't yew?", she said, shaking an accusing finger at Ole's nose.
"Vell, ve might haf stopped off for a couple," Old admitted. "How did yew know?"
"De bartender yust called and he said yew two forgot Sever's vheelchair down dere again."

------------------
Muriel
http://home.earthlink.net/~marcmuff/
marcmuff@earthlink.net

posted 11-19-2001 22:04            

quote:

---

Originally posted by marion10:
Beebe, I don't know where I would go yet. ...I'm try to convince my husband to drive over to Williamsburg or Branson. Also, If I can get cheap airfares pulling the kids out of school after Easter and going to Mexico.

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posted 11-20-2001 08:21            

quote:

---

Originally posted by 3kids4me:
I've been timesharing just a short time
but still I'm attempting this rhyme,
to give some advice
so you won't pay the price
of hearing things from the grapevine!

Sellers abound as you've heard
Some are crooks; some are true to their word
Just make sure you don't buy
from that slick dentist guy
(A root canal would be preferred!)

Once you have found the right buy,
you can finally smile and sigh
Enjoy your first trip,
but when you take a dip...
Hope you don't see that pool-peeing guy!!

Sharon

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posted 11-20-2001 13:30            

My mother had a friend, who came to Maine one year. My mom took her sightseeing, and one of their meals was lobster in a restaraunt.

Years later, the friend did a wonderful favor for my mother, so my mother shipped to her $75 worth of lobster (which was alot of lobster in the '70s.), packed fresh on ice, etc.

Weeks later, my mom and her talked on the phone, and my mom asked her how the lobster was. The lady finally confessed that she had not had the heart to tell my mother---it was spoiled.

Upon further questioning, the lady had thrown out the greenish lobsters!!! She thought they were a bright red even when alive!!!

Oh well, when Maine shows pictures/postcards, etc. of our lobsters, they seldom do show them uncooked!!!!

(Any other TUGgers that might have made the same judgment---be honest now!!)

posted 11-20-2001 13:34            

One
Jury
Said
Innocent;
Most
People
Say
Otherwise
Now !!!!!

Do you see it?
Pat

[This message has been edited by pryder (edited 11-20-2001).]

[This message has been edited by pryder (edited 11-20-2001).]

posted 11-20-2001 14:10            

The kindergarden teacher asked the class if anything unusual had happened to them in the last few days. Little Johnny raised his hand, and told the teacher (and class) that he had found a dead kitty. The teacher asked how he knew the cat was dead. Little Johnny replied that he had pissed in it's ear, and it didn't move. The teacher was HORRIFIED, and asked Johnny to explain himself. He, again, said that he had pissed in the cat's ear, and that it didn't move, so it must have been dead. The teacher was beside herself, and wondering what punishment would be right for Johnny talking that way. So, one more time, the teacher asked Johnny to explain EXACTLY what happened, and what he did. Little Johnny then said, that when he was on his way to school, he saw a kitty lying on the ground, not moving, and went up to it, and went "pssst, pssst" in it ear, and it didn't move.

(I can see my grandson doing something like that>)

posted 11-20-2001 15:52            

OK...I'm going back to my room....

posted 11-21-2001 05:23            

quote:

---

Originally posted by pryder:

One
Jury
Said
Innocent;
Most
People
Say
Otherwise
Now !!!!!

Do you see it?

---

Y
E
P

posted 11-21-2001 20:58            

There once was a woman named Joyce,
Who said timesharing wasn't her choice,
She was given a unit,
Made the trip to it,
Now she's a T/S junkie for life.

Beebe, what a generous thing to do!

posted 11-21-2001 22:38            

quote:

---

Originally posted by joycapecod:
........Beebe, what a generous thing to do!

---

We hope everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving,
Caroll & Robert

posted 11-24-2001 21:04            

I suppose if we didn't have surplus weeks we wouldn't be giving one away. We're unhappy that we don't have more vacation time and wish to share and have enjoyment while doing it. We are not able to use the weeks. You are not taking advantage by using our excess.
We were hoping non-members would enter and enjoy, and maybe join TUG because of it.
Most likely a member will win since they are the ones making the entries. There however should be many more entries.

Those of you, who are volunteers, don’t hold out just because you volunteered to help TUG. You are members and should enter the same as other members.

There will be no favoritism. Anyone posting could be the winner. It will be the luck of the draw.
If the winner doesn't want a week, we'll find something to do with it, maybe simply draw again.

You will not win if you do not enter.

It has been enjoyable to see everyone posting and enjoying. We want to share a Timeshare with one of you.

There are a few days remaining before the winner is declared, so if you’ve not posted an entry, get with it.

posted 11-25-2001 08:34            

Robert, I hope that the above situation is of superficial phlebitis, rather than deep vein?? I am sorry to hear you had to cancel one of your trips, but your health must come first, especially with phlebitis. All you need is a long sit on the way there to make the situation worse. Take care.